Author vs Sesshomaru
by Skystar5
Summary: This is what would happen if my friend, Dragonfriend4, and the demon lord Sesshomaru were put in same room. It's a random, comical one-shot that I hope you readers enjoy. Please review! Co-written by Dragonfriend4


Author vs. Sesshomaru

Our showdown starts out in a blank space, the sky is white, the so called "ground" is white and everything is you guessed it. A really light shade of gray that is identical to white! All of the sudden, the mighty demon lord, Sesshomaru, falls from the sky with Jaken and Rin right behind him. As soon as he finally gets Rin and Jaken off of him, another figure falls from the sky! It was just the writer Dragonfriend4. She landed right on top of Jaken, effectively squashing him under her. Author gets up brushes herself off, then points at the tall figure standing in front of her. She places one foot forward which squishes Jaken again.

"Hey! It's you!" She looks at the blank sky, "What did I do this time Sky?" she yelled to no one in particular. "I told you that I didn't eat your candy! I was framed! I swear on my pinky toe!"

"Oh yeah?" a voice boomed from the sky, "Then why did you have my Milky Way wrapper in your pocket?"

"Okay, fine I ate it. But wasn't a little harsh to stick me in here with him?" she asked. For once in his life emotion showed on Sesshomaru's face, he was obviously offended. Or was he?

"Harsh? I could have stuck you with Haru!" This time is was Dragonfriend4's turn to be shocked, did Sky have a list of all the characters she hated in manga's? It was highly possible.

"Pardon me… but why is it a tragedy to standing next to me?" The demon lord butted in.

"Because I'm standing next to you! Oh and to answer your question it's because your stupid." The author beamed brightly. "In multiple ways I should add too." Evil giggling recedes in the background as the white clouds roll away and invisible thunder crackles again.

"Lord Sesshomaru is not stupid you lowly human! For your information he's the lord of the Western lands!" Jaken shouted angrily at her.

"Oh right! You're the stupid one turtle-bird!" She said after blinking a few times. "Sorry Sesshomaru, I have other things against you" she waved cheekily at the demon. This somehow got no reaction out of the stoic demon lord, not that she expected one. I mean this is Sesshomaru we're talking about! Jaken was fuming, literally, smoke was coming out of his ears as he spoke.

"I. Am. Not. A. TURTLE-BIRD!" Dragonfriend4 blinked again,

"OH YEEEEAAAAH…. You're an ugly turtle-bird!" the small imp-thing was so angry that he couldn't react. After moments of silence he called,

"Sesshomaru-sama! Can you hear what this human is saying?" The demon turned away from conversation with Rin, and stared blankly at his side-kick.

"Yes Jaken?" Jaken promptly fell over from the shock that his lord wasn't listening to the author's rude comments.

"Seshomaru-sama she called me an ugly turtle-bird!" this comment was met with silence. Then the contagious laughter of Rin and the author filled the air. Sesshomaru even cracked a non-existent smile.

"Hi Rin!" the author yelled enthusiastically as she darted by Sesshomaru without his knowledge.

"Hi, why did your friend stick you in here?" she asked innocently.

"I stole something from my friend and she felt like abusing me today." She hung her head in defeat.

"Your friend abuses you?" she asked

"Hades yeah!" the voice from the sky yelled happily.

"Hades? Why don't you just say hell?" he asked.

"WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE FUR-BALL!" the author yelled scooping up a handful of white 'mud' and hits him square in the face with it, stunning him for a moment.

"Hey! Don't be mean to Rin's puppy!" Rin yelled as he wiped the white stuff off his face.

"He's your puppy?" an evil glint appearing in her eyes as she snatched Jaken's staff from his hands, making him falls face first into the 'mud'. Inwardly Sesshomaru was thinking _Oh dear…_ as she hurled the staff… in the opposite direction.

"Fetch puppy!" she yelled pointing at the staff.

"I don't listen to humans." Right at that moment Rin tucked on the demon's mokomoko whispering,

"Can you fetch?" Sighing, the dog-demon walked towards the carved stick and picked it up.

"Now bring it back boy!" Dragon yelled excitedly. Sesshomaru glared eyes turning red,

"SHUT THE …" _wait Rin's around…_ "UP!" Rin walked calmly toward the demon lord.

"Sama? What were you about to say?"

"Nothing!" Dragonfriend4 and Sesshomaru yelled at the same time. The demon noticed what Rin said.

"Wait… Rin… Why did you call me Sama?"

"Beause Sesshomaru-sama is too hard to say, its loooonnnggg. Can I call you Sama?"

"No."

"Puppy?"

"No."

"Mokomokoko?"

"No."

"Mokomoko?"

"No."

"MoMo?"

"No."

"Doggie?"

"No."

"Puppy?"

"Again. No."

"Fluffy?"

"No."

"Sesshy?"

"No."

"Sess?"

"No."

"Puppie?"

"No."

"Then what can I call you?"

"Sesshomaru-sama."

"But that's to looooonnnggg! Can I call you Sama?"

"No."

And the whole thing started all over again…

"You're boring me!" Dragonfriend4 yelled then she faced the white sky again, "Can you let me out now Sky?" The white clouds roll back into the white sky, how they are seen we don't entirely know, the thunder rumbles ad Sky's voice comes back.

"NO! This is great writing material!" she laughed, the click-clack of keys made itself known to the viewers.

"You're so mean to me! Imma eat you!"

"I thought you were a pacifist."

"Not anymore!"

"I thought you didn't kill people."

"You're an exception!"

"Cannibal!"

"Yes, my sister proclaimed it." The thunder rumbles and Sky retreats with the final word of,

"Critic!" Dragonfriend4 shakes her fist at the sky angrily yelling,

"? Por que? Get back you coward so I can eat you!" Sesshomaru looked blankly at the author that that fell from the sky. _And I thought I could get angry…_ he thought to himself. Ragonfriend4 spun around to face the demon lord.

"I've had enough of you!"

"Are you reading my mind?"

"Possibly! Now let's go!"

"Can you take my army of screaming fan girls?" said girls popped out of the wall that was behind him.

"WOW! There're walls in this place?! That's beside the point! Can you take my friends?" seven angry girls walked out from behind her, one of them being Sky.

"Hi Sky!" she yelled happily the girl waved back at her

"Hi Louis!"

"That isn't my name!"Dragon yelled angrily. Just as the two armies? Marched to battle against each other, everything starts to fade to white.

"What's happening?" Sesshomaru asked

"The author's finished typing"

"NOoooooo!"

That was the last time Sky was stupid enough to put Sesshomaru and Dragonfriend4 in the same room together. In the end Dragonfriend4 won. THE END!

**(Like you thought I wouldn't won, no cookies for you!) Ok so I hope you enjoyed! This was something my friend dragonfriend4 and I concocted while we supposed to to be doing homework. I plan on making this a series, the next one-shot being Author vs. Haru. PLEASE REVIEW! **

**Love ya readers! 3 **

**-Skystar**

**PS: dragon is not a cannibal it's just something she threatens people with when angry. Bye… again! Please review!**


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